The last few weeks for me have been incredibly busy as we are preparing to come out of lockdown and return to regular in-school teaching. Getting my own children ready as well as myself and my classes, has been no small chore. It has taken up a lot more time than my allocated "part-time" status suggests. I don't mean to complain, simply state a fact why my posts here have been a bit sporadic (I missed one completely last week!).
In amidst all of this busy-ness, one quote kept coming to my mind. Each morning as part of my morning ritual, I read. I often read something spiritual whether that be the Bible or some other spiritual reflections. Part of my reading routine has been Leo Tolstoy's "A Calendar of Wisdom." I have loved this book. Here's what Tolstoy himself says about the book in a letter dated 16 May 1908 to his friend Gusev:
"I cannot understand how some people can live without the Calendar. What could be more precious and important than communicating with the wisest people who ever lived on earth?...I feel very happy every day because I read this book."
I, too, look forward to the quiet mornings when I can sit with my tea and read the words of the "wisest people." So, the quote that I initially alluded to was one from this Calendar. It's not today's quote (sometimes I just flip through the book and gain wisdom from random days). The quote says this:
"The real life of a person." I love this. It reminds that it is in the small moments of each day, the true present, that we exist. It is not in worrying about the future and fretting over the past. It is here that we are our true selves. And how do we choose to be in this true moment? I feel lucky that so many of my moments are spent at home, homemaking, gardening, baking, being my family, reading and generally being content. This is when I feel that I am living my real life. Yes, I work outside the house part-time and I enjoy this too. A multi-faceted life of a real person.
When reflecting on the power of this quote, I thought I would like to recommend this to you all: if you feel that you are completely overwhelmed or that the thought of the future (or the past) is driving you to distraction, then simply take a moment and remember that it is here, in this moment that you exist. Your days will still be spent in work and leisure, you will still have things on your to-do list but by always taking Tolstoy's wise words to heart you will never feel as that you have lost yourself, or that you "don't know who you are anymore." How may times have you heard that expression?
"I just don't recognise myself anymore," must be one of the saddest sentiments that a person can feel. But by being mindful or purposeful to remember that you only exist here, in this moment, can help you to remember that this is you. You have made the choices (for the most part - sometimes things are out of our control) that have lead you to be here, right now. If you feel that where you are, the work you are doing, the behaviour you are exhibiting isn't a real indication of who you are then think about how you can remedy that. Who are you? What can you change to bring you closer to the life you want to live? This level of self-reflection should always be a big part of our life. It stops us from feeling like a victim or that we have "lost ourselves" to the situation or to the actions of someone else. And on a simpler level, it reminds to us to live in the moment and appreciate what we have. Taking the time to savour the small moments, the everyday moments of our real life can have such profound benefits.
I hope that Tolstoy's words of wisdom will bring some positivity to your life, just as they have done for mine. This may only be a small step toward a life of peace and simplicity, a life of refinement inspired by the classics, but it could be just the step that brings other changes into your life.
I wish you all a calm, peace-filled day.
Kirsty x
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