Rethinking New Year's Resolutions

Have you heard the saying, New Year, New You? I have to say, I really don't like it. First of all, I don't like the idea of one day of the year pressuring us to think negatively about ourselves and consider all the ways in which we would like to be different (usually this has to do with physical appearance). For me, self-improvement goes hand in hand with self-education and should be a lifelong process, not a one day goal. Secondly, having resolutions hanging over our heads takes away the joy and gladness of this time of year. We have made it through another year! We have so much to look forward to! Why spoil that with goals that perhaps don't inspire us but force us to feel bad about who we are?

Whilst researching this article, I came across an interesting article comparing New Year's resolutions from 1947 to the most common ones made today. Here you can see how we have changed in the things we want for ourselves in the coming year.

Resolutions From 1947 - Gallup Poll

1. Improve my disposition, be more understanding, control my temper

2. Improve my character, live a better life

3. Stop smoking, smoke less

4. Save more money

5. Stop drinking, drink less

6. Be more religious, go to church more often

7. Be more efficient, do a better job

8. Take better care of my health

9. Take greater part in home life

10. Lose (or gain) weight

Today’s Resolutions

1. Lose weight

2. Get organized

3. Spend less, save more

4. Enjoy life to the fullest

5. Stay fit and healthy

6. Learn something exciting

7. Quit smoking

8. Help others fulfill their dreams

9. Fall in love

10. Spend more time with family

What a difference! Now, I'm not saying that the most common resolutions for today are wrong or that there's anything bad about them, I'm just a bit sad that most people look to January 1st as an opportunity to lose weight and get their lives organised, and then to stop spending! Looking back to 1947 don't you think that improving our disposition and character would give us a better chance of success? Instead of seeing ourselves as fat and lazy, wouldn't a change of perspective in how we view ourselves and our lives be more beneficial in becoming the person we want to be?

I talk a lot here about knowing who you are and being your most authentic self, but never have I said that you need to lose weight or buy drawer dividers to do that. Sure, those things might help in the short term, but if these resolutions are the most common for the last ten or twenty years, I'd have to guess that they're not very successful. I've read so many articles where people pressure themselves to start a new diet, a gruelling exercise regime, or are determined to whip their homes into a minimalist, Scandinavian style as soon as January 1st rolls around.

Let's look at how the New Year season was celebrated in one of my favourite classics of all time, Little Women.

“Oh, dear, how hard it does seem to take up our packs and go on,” sighed Meg the morning after the party, for now the holidays were over, the week of merrymaking did not fit her for going on easily with the task she never liked.

“I wish it was Christmas or New Year’s all the time. Wouldn’t it be fun?” answered Jo, yawning dismally.

“We shouldn’t enjoy ourselves half so much as we do now. But it does seem so nice to have little suppers and bouquets, and go to parties, and drive home, and read and rest, and not work."

What another difference! Jo and Meg aren't talking about the ways they have to improve their physical appearance on January 1st, but instead they recognise the importance of celebrating, resting, reading and not working! This should be a time of reflection and rest, of planning and reading, but one done with joy and pleasure. Instead we have become a bit more like poor Mrs Helen Huntingdon from The Tenant of Wildfell Hall:

That sweet season, I once so joyously welcomed as the time of hope and gladness, awakens now far other anticipations by its return.

Now, I'm pretty sure I don't remember Helen dreading January for its diets and gym sessions, but something else entirely, but even still we can see how the hope and gladness of a new year can sometimes be overshadowed by that feeling that we "ought" to be doing something to improve our physical appearance. Instead, if we must make a resolution for self-improvement, I suggest we think like our grandparents of 1947 and consider improving things on the inside - our disposition and our character. So what would that look like?

If resolutions are your thing, perhaps consider adding a goal to read one new book a month, or one classic book a month. You might consider enrolling in a course, either in person or online (Futurelearn is one of my favourites for free, online courses). Meditation, yoga and prayer can all help to bring calm into our lives and our dispositions, but if this isn't for you, then perhaps finding a professional that you can talk to could help. If health is a focus for you, then consider reading my article on Jane Austen for a new way of looking at health and wellbeing. Look at beautiful art or listen to classical music daily, weekly, or monthly to remind yourself that there is beauty in the world. Beauty in all different forms and formats. 

I really hope that this article has not come across as judgmental or pushy, for that was not my intention. What I wanted to do was to help us all rethink our resolutions, so that perhaps we can revel and enjoy this wonderful time of year without feeling bad about ourselves or how we look. This is just one small aspect of living a simple life of happiness and contentment, which is what I'm all about these days. If you enjoy making diet plans and cleaning your space over New Year's, then by all means go ahead and do it! If resolutions make you happy and enabled you to enjoy this season, then please don't stop. I was writing for those of you (and myself) who might want to rethink New Year's resolutions and how we can use this time to grow as people, to continue on the journey of self-education and to give thanks for the blessings we do have. 

I wish all of my readers a wonderful 2022, full of peace, joy and classical inspiration! And if you have made a resolution then please feel free to share it here - no judgement, I promise!